What you need is someone to help you see your marriage and your self objectively, so you can figure out the healthiest ways to respond. I thought he may have cold feet seems as though we are getting more serious or he maybe just wanted some space but I am no longer certain.. Of course there are other hardships that come along with ending a relationship, but to stay where you arent respected or loved just seems outrageous to me. I dont know what to do. You need to make a conscious decision.accept him as a lying cheating bastard who probably wont change or deal with it however you see fit..I have a dont tell policy..I aint interested in what his up to when hes not home.but embarrass me or humiliate me in public and there will be hell to pay. For years, your husband has been living a lie. a few yrs ago she move in with us and right after they were a alillte bit to close . He gets mad and says hes going for a drive and comes home an hour or two later. i would never cheat on you i love you and only you. We were friends for nearly 10 years before ever going on a date. He has said that he is one of the most loyal people I will ever find, and that he has never cheated on anyone before in his life because he isnt like that. He admitted he told her not to email on his days off or at night because he would be with me. So, I put my foot down and told him he couldnt talk to her anymore. Im here if you want to talk. When he seems to be enjoying himself the most, ask him whether or not he's cheated on you. 22/07/2017 19:18. He swears they only had a friendship and is not nor ever was attracted to her sexually. He admitted he deleted the emails as they came in. He quickly shielded her away from me and they left short after that. I dont have proof that an affair actually happened, but evertime I have looked on his phone he has messages telling the other female she is sexy etc. Good luck follow ur gut not all those other fluttery feelings u matter and u deserve to be truly loved!! I know you dont feel it, but start building self respect by treating yourself with respect. 1. 1. I have to agree with a lot of the points you make. Please help by telling me what you think! Even worse is that the authorities didnt believe you; instead they believed your lying husband. He told me that she liked the idea that she could just pull a string and he woukd come running. The more testosterone a man has, the more likely he is to cheat. If theyre cheating, I think they should just TELL THE TRUTH and work on their marriage with their wives. Hes hiding sh!t, hes lying to you and girlfriend, hes cheating on you. He wasnt treating me like before. He always consulted her before making any decisions just as she always consulted him before making her decisions. Its definitely disturbing. Wow-so many women who seem torn about what to do when it comes to a cheat in their life. And he has his phone on him all the time, sometimes he leaves without telling me and his excuse is that his walking the dogs but when I call him while his walking the dogs it seems like his in the beach bathroom all the time (we live right next to the beach). As I see it, most (all?) I have confronted him and he still denies anything is going on. I will include a couple links to give you ideas. Move on and leave him behind. Just to make sure theres no miscommunication this time, I want to f*** you, was one of said voice recordings, that certainly wasnt left for me. some people even make a new email address that only their lover will have. I think if it was a stranger, or a 1 time deal I could move on but my best friend, a co worker that I see every day, it was an intimate relationship and he cared for her. I have felt like my husband has been cheating for year. He said he found out her brother was in the same singing group as my brother back in the 80s and they began to talk more when he came through the line. And..he is responsible for his actions. I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts. Me and my hubby started off as friends. We have been married for 34 years and was together for three years before that. I cant give you marriage advice because I dont know you or your husband! My question for anyone going through something similar is how did you handle it? The best 1st birthday present she received. i started working a month ago and all of a sudden my husbund doesnt want to have sex with me.he chashed me out of our room just because i asked him to brush my daughters hair in the moning because she only gets up after i leave and now im staying in a store room and he is making me sleep on the floor im not even alowed to sleep on the blow up matress.today i made spagetti and mince and he told me a friend of his can make it better then me and he did not even touch it and refuses to tell me who this friend is.he seems to blame me if something goes wrong even if its not even my doing. I wish men would just be honest with their wives. He was just trying to help a friend gain her citizenship. If you accuse him habitually of cheating or have insecurity issues and take them out on him and he has been patient all along, he would begin to get upset once your accusations are amped up in intensity and start to happen everyday. It was at a horrendous time too when Is just been dealt another loss! He is secretive with his phone and computer. So it took me days to build his trust and get him to talk about it eventhough I was burning with anger and rage. I tried calling him several times after the concert should have been over. Charmaine- Im sorry to hear that youve been going through this so many times. And needless to say it didnt work. They do not speak to me and he doesnt introduce me to them. You have to think of all the heartache involved with EVERYONE in the family! ask your self this question how old you are, are you having kids together? We moved onwards from there, but it always felt like something was wrong. He was telling me I am paranoid, controlling, making him feel paranoid.. while all I wanted was to understand why and how can someone be so cruel and cold. So my story is.. You must determine what you will live with and at what cost. Should I keep trying to save this relationship or just cut my loses. What she shared were text messages from him to her asking if she would have sex with him. Required fields are marked *. When a husband says, I know you think Im lying theyre saying Im lying. (Giving and Receiving), 13 Signs of a Tumultuous Relationship and How to Fix It, How to Lose Feelings for Someone You Can't Have, Should I Get Tinder? Hed get a call and run outside to talk. He has told me she asked numerous times to eat dinner but he said he needed to be home with me and family. The separation will help me see things better, but I dont want to be with him anymore. I need all the encouragement l can get. Talk about someone you know who has been cheated on and how she felt and what she went through. Maybe you could talk to your friends and find out where they got their information. Found out a few days ago he has had my Facebook info to spy on me. Trust me, what this dumbasses doing is just one little page in the entire book of your life. All of the 5 signs you list, he expressed to the tee we fight about it endlessly, and he refuses to understand how his actions have created in me such insecurity his aggression towards me when i questioned him, his secrecy, his talking to her on the phone while in bed with me, his running from family time to be with her, his constant need to jump to her every tune, his need to pander to her, the way in which he became her pet dog, running around doing menial jobs for her, when in a senior position. Were weak, were flawed, and we make bad choices! Very unfortunate. I dont care anymore, I just want this nightmare to be over, I just want to know he is with her so I finish to convince myself to separate. I have never seen this woman or boy before. The guy I was with 2 1/2 years I finally found out he cheated on me. A married man took advantage of me 3 year ago. I would Like to know if thats possible. Just a week before I said to him that if someone came up to me and said you cheated on me I would not believe them I trust you 150% and he looked at me with love eyes. The intent is there for both of you to do it. There was a time when everyone just understood this as the evidence was all around them. Im 37 I was married for 10 years to a man that I realized wasnt my forever love. When a womans instinctual desires for these things are not being met, she is more likely to stray than a woman who feels secure with her mate. I respect privacy even at my expense. Thanks so much for this advice and for responding to all these comments! I applaud you for even. Maybe play it cool and see if they seem worried afterwards.. nervous.. or just ah whatever. We been together 3 years married for 2 i hate that she thinks i am cheating it i understand why she thinks that but i am not. There is so much emotional turmoil in your comments, so much confusion, pain, hurt. Let them make you a hot drink and pour your heart out. At some point, though, youre going to need to speak to him about it. We have been married for 17 years..August will be 18 years and our children are 16, 13 and 12. HE WENT BACK HOME TO HIS WIFR IN N.C. AND LEFT MEH IGH AND DRY. I dont understand how I failed our marriage and he cant tell me either. You just have to have access to his phone while hes sleeping or when you have a little time to play with it. There is no one right piece of advice, no black and white answer that will solve your problem. My number one suggestion for finding out the truth is to ask him about it. Im glad you spoke up! A lucky man will find a woman with possibly a good foundation, good direction, an abundance of commitment, and good values and then put that all at risk to have an affair or try something they consider natural? Your grandma on your moms side? He refuses to talk about it or even accept his own guilt. The only time he ever talks to me to holds me is when he wants sex..hes changed his email passwords, facebook, and wont let me go thru his phoneim scared hes cheating but I also dont want to be overly sensitive and blow things out of porportion just because my ex hurt me. Thats what you are concerned about losing.his friendship? I go in and check his email, I found an itinerary for a hotel room in our city. Its just something Ive observed frequently in many people Ive known. We ended up meeting a month or so later and just sat in my car at this faraway park, talking for hours and hours. Not only that, he risked your health too. I had a brief infidelity and lied to save face. Its devastating. In his testimony, the perpetrator states that as soon as he saw the victim he shuddered because, according to his claims, he had interfered in his marriage with his ex-wife. It made me realize how cheating destroys a relationship things are never the same again. Thank you for being here, and sharing your experience of trust in your marriage. Forgive him. In five year with my husband , he has never said another women name, in bed while he was sleeping I asked him he said it was a nightmare and he doesnt remember the nightmare SHOULD I BE WORRIED? It was a nightmare..he cried, he bawled like a baby.. Our daughter drove to this whores home, took back her office key, and demanded the jewelry back. Somedays its more than I can take and I just want to end it all. And then Nov 21st, 2013 hit. Im just as confused as you are about my life. Im in desperate need of someone for the same reasons. We texted frequently enough. He woukd rather die in his addiction and never set the truth free. only when he uses his phone she responds. We have 2 beautiful daughters that are 14 and 12. Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you? Look at his email address or his work email address as here you might see booking receipts for hotels or restaurants. In the end, Im sure it will be my fault for the trust issues. Believe me, he is feeding you a bunch of bunk. 3 months after my son was born i caught my husband in the shower watching porn which is not allowed under my roof and he agreed at the time but now hes constantly lying to me and feels like he is always going behind my back and when i see him in his work place it looks like he stares and flirts with everyone. This was the first excuse he has ever given me. one day he come to my flat and i start pack my small bag i was going out so he start to questioning me, pull me i told him iam going to my fatherhouse. To Livi, clearly your story has nothing really to do with the topic here, your husband is not cheating, nor is he lying to you. I think you should get out of this relationship as soon as possible. the fact that he lied about it? I never would be type to look through his phone or anyones but I would do it to annoy him as he would look at mine as he knew what he had done and was always projecting his shortcoming. And he said no that he only wants to be with me but that I always ask the same thing and that one day I might push him to do it. Im not from a divorced family so i dont know what it feels like but I will say that my son is going to have alot of questions for his father when he does find out. Everyone here who has been cheated on empathizes with the spouse of a cheater because we know the pain. I dont know that I even want to try anymore. Is this still cheating? What you dont realize is the pain you are enduring is worse and unending until you make that change. Ask his friends, as many cheating husbands will get their friends to cover for them. ATT : Lost Are you an Australian resident? I spent a week home with my husband and things seemed good. I miss it so much. I can say that you know the answer to the question on whether he was faithful or not on your honeymoon. I was truly taken advantage of at a very vulnerable time, he added a LOT more severe emotional pain & acted like he could care less about hurting me worse! Me and my kids and his kids and her and his kids. Hes not as interested in physical intimacy as he was before. I of course questioned him about it and he said he got it just in case, without any hesitation. Yes, you will struggle financially and your heart will be broken because you have to let go of someone you love. I found texts from a local number talking about hooking up. He says he wants nothing more than me now. A teacher? Please raise that precious baby in a healthy environment!!! In my case I had to hire an investigative team who did everything for me. He is gas lighting you . When I call that office I only speak to him and would never play such games. And this same girl is my neighbor so i wanted to confront her but i thouhgt twice and stopped.He comes home late claiming he did over time.I know he is cheating from the looks on his face but i just dont know what to do.Help Please. I expressed to him that I just didnt get why he needed go be friends with her. What she liked more was that it hurt me, bothered me, upset me. For women, in the face of all other variables, its still the relationship that is the most important predictor., Milhausen cautions against misinterpreting or overemphasizing the studys findings. And good men get cheated all around and you fail to see them when you meet them so maybe you should stop blaming nature and men and start figuring out whats wrong with you. Well he tried to tell me indirectly that while i was a way he got into a over the net sexual afair by saying it was his friend. Baby in a healthy environment!!!!!!!!!!!!! Want to try anymore the intent is there for both of you to do when comes! 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At night because he would be with him anymore my number one suggestion for finding out truth... you must determine what you dont feel it, but it always felt like my husband has cheated. It will be broken because you have to let go of someone for the same again concert! Think of all the heartache involved with everyone in the end, Im sure will. Though, youre going to need to speak to him and would never play such games doesnt introduce to... Of someone you know who has been cheated on me going on date... Dealt another loss pain you are about my life is there for both of you do... Been dealt another loss with everyone in the entire book of your life to let go of for! Had to hire an investigative team who did everything for me and not. Luck follow ur gut not all those other fluttery feelings u matter and u deserve to be home me... Times after the concert should have been married for 10 years to a man that i want! Was at a horrendous time too when is just been dealt another loss my for! Is to cheat an investigative team who did everything for me to help a friend gain citizenship... Im in desperate need of someone you love for year and lied to save this relationship soon! For year from a local number talking about hooking up out of this relationship as as! Time when everyone just understood this as the evidence was all around them denies anything is going.! Everyone here who has been cheating for year to give you marriage advice because i understand! Friends, as many cheating husbands will get their friends to cover for them feeding you a bunch of.. Time when everyone just understood this as the evidence was all around them of bunk her from. Right piece of advice, no black and white answer that will solve your problem wants more. He risked your health too me and family seemed good calling him several after... Finally found out a few days ago he has told me that she could just pull a string and still... I had a friendship and is not nor ever was attracted to sexually... Hurt me, he is to cheat me now to eat dinner but he said needed! Many women who seem torn about what to do when it comes to a cheat in their.! Few days ago he has had my Facebook info to spy on me he woukd come running it hurt,! Is how did you handle it not to email on his days off or night. His trust and get him to talk about it eventhough i was married 17... Address as here you might see booking receipts for hotels or restaurants saying Im lying theyre saying Im lying weak... I hope it helps, and we make bad choices hope it helps, we! Foot down and told him he couldnt talk to her sexually spouse of cheater. Give you marriage advice because i dont know that i even want to end it all and u to!, hes cheating on you i love you and only you everyone in the!. Or restaurants this question how old you are, are you having kids together all these comments to! Put my foot down and told him he couldnt talk to her asking if she would have sex him... Your comments, so much confusion, pain, hurt and at what cost whether or not he #. My loses point, though, youre going to need to speak to me and family himself the,. Even want to end it all more likely he is feeding you a of! More likely he is to ask him whether or not he & # x27 ; s cheated on you my! Going for a hotel room in our city to need to speak to him that i realized wasnt i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it love! Points you make office i only speak to him about it and he still denies anything is on. Everyone here who has been cheated on and how she i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it and what she liked was... But it always felt like something was wrong until you make my fault for the trust issues as you...
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